


Queen Group Chat AU

by Jelly_Jenkins



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Drabble Collection, Gen, Group chat, I'm really sorry I really am, Jim works at a candy store, M/M, Modern Era, Oh well I'm a teenager let me live, One Shot Collection, Tags'll change, They're still young tho, Why do I write nothing but shitty fics, prolly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-09-02 23:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 4,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16796425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jelly_Jenkins/pseuds/Jelly_Jenkins
Summary: i wanna choke on a fucking piece of chac n meese





	1. The Bird

Killer Queen: Darlings, what's making racket in the kitchen?  
  
Mayn Man: Roger are you in the kitchen getting food?  
  
Better Drummer Than You: no...?  
  
Deacy: I'm not there but I'll check.  
  
Better Drummer Than You: it's probably one of the cats.  
  
Deacy: Either Roger or Brian come here. Right now.  
  
Mayn Man: I'm on my way.  
  
Better Drummer Than You: no i'm too comfy  
  
Killer Queen: Wait why am I not allowed to come in the kitchen?  
  
Better Drummer Than You: i dunno  
  
Killer Queen: I'm coming to the kitchen.  
  
Mayn Man: FRED DON'T  
  
Deacy: FREDDIE, NO  
  
Killer Queen: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT  
  
Better Drummer Than You: what's happening i'm scared  
  
Better Drummer Than You: i'm hiding in fred's closet  
  
Better Drummer Than You: pretty roomy since freddie spent so much time in here  
  
Deacy: Roger come here RIGHT NOW.  
  
Better Drummer Than You: no  
  
Mayn Man: I'll fucking hide your fags if you don't come here right now.  
  
Better Drummer Than You: YOU BETTER FUCKING NOT  
  
Mayn Man: Then come here.  
  
Deacy: Fred come back we need as much help as we can.  
  
Better Drummer Than You: fred's joined me in the closet.  
  
Better Drummer Than You: oh  
  
Better Drummer Than You: oh no  
  
Better Drummer Than You: what kind of bird is it?  
  
Deacy: Very funny, Rog. Come here. Freddie, you can stay.  
  
Mayn Man: Roger I'm 3 seconds away from putting your cigs in the rain.  
  
Better Drummer Than You: hold onto to your man titties i'm coming  
  
Killer Queen: Wouldn't be the first time Roger's said that to Bri.  
  
Mayn Man: Fuck off.  
  
Better Drummer Than You: fuck you  
  
Deacy: We're good. Brian and I got the bird outside, but it crapped on the floor, and your cats are curious.  
  
Killer Queen: Do _not_ let Delilah eat bird shit.

Deacy: Then come here and help clean it.

Killer Queen: Ugh. Fine.


	2. A Saturday Evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i don't know what this is

Killer Queen: I'm going upstairs to play with Delilah

Deacy: Oky

Better Drummer Than You: okay*

Mayn Man: Okay*

Killer Queen: Okay.*

Deacy: Dammit.

Better Drummer Than You: fuck yeah deacon fucked up

Mayn Man: Rog you need to stop saying "fuck"

Better Drummer Than You: no

Mayn Man: Yes

Better Drummer Than You: no

Mayn Man: Yes

Better Drummer Than You: no

Mayn Man: Stop

Better Drummer Than You: no

Better Drummer Than You: no

Better Drummer Than You: no

Better Drummer Than You: no

Better Drummer Than You: no

Killer Queen uploaded delilah.mov

Deacy: Awwww. I'm coming up there.

Killer Queen: No she's MINE.

Mayn Man: Little cutiepie.

Better Drummer Than You: ha you all left me with the booze

Better Drummer Than You: you've made a mistaaaaake

Better Drummer Than You: hahahahahahahahahaha

Deacy: Roger, I'm coming there RIGHT NOW.

Mayn Man: Roger, no.

Better Drummer Than You: roger, yes

Killer Queen uploaded delilah.jpg

Mayn Man: Oh I'm torn between staying with the little cutie and stopping Roger from drinking all the alcohol.

Deacy: Don't worry I'm on it.

Killer Queen: Darling, please don't drink all the alcohol.

Better Drummer Than You: fuc u

Deacy: I tried to stop him but he chugged a whole bottle of liquor.

Mayn Man: I'll deal with it...

Killer Queen: Thank you, dear.


	3. Dinner Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> john made stir fry. roger is a spoiled brat.

Deacy: Dinner's ready.

Killer Queen: Okay.

Mayn Man: Ok.

Better Drummer Than You: no

Mayn Man: What do you mean 'no'?

Better Drummer Than You: bring me my food peasant

Deacy: No.

Better Drummer Than You: yse

Mayn Man: It's better to just give into his commands than to fight them.

Killer Queen: Wouldn't be the first time you're giving into him.

Deacy: That makes no sense.

Killer Queen: I was talking about how Roger and Brian have probably FUCKED, JOHN.

Better Drummer Than You: no we haven't fuck off.

Mayn Man: FRED, STOP OR ELSE I WILL THROTTLE YOU.

Deacy: Kinky.

Killer Queen: What

Mayn Man: What

Better Drummer Than You: what

Deacy: Nothing.

Mayn Man: Okay.

Deacy: Roger come here stir fry is getting cold.

Better Drummer Than You: i'm not letting what you said go.

Deacy: I know.

Better Drummer Than You: i'm screenshotting it.

Deacy: I know.

Better Drummer Than You: brian, can you pretty please with a cherry on top bring me my food, darling brian?

Mayn Man: FINE.

Better Drummer Than You: thank you!!!

Killer Queen: "darling brian"

Mayn Man: STOP.

Killer Queen: Screenshotting that.

Better Drummer Than You: STOP.

Mayn Man: _STOP._

Deacy: Can't believe how much of a baby Roger is.

Killer Queen: Mhm. Darling, he's like a spoiled toddler.

Deacy: I'm gonna put down my phone so I can enjoy my meal.

Killer Queen: Okay, same.

Killer Queen: They're taking an awful long time up there.

Deacy: Probably fucking.

Killer Queen: Mhm.

Deacy: Make sure you two use protection, okay?

Killer Queen: There's some condoms in the bathroom, dears.

Mayn Man: PISS OFF.

Deacy: Roger's been awfully quiet, still trying to catch his breath, is he?

Mayn Man: I'm coming down there right now and fucking MURDERING YOU.

Killer Queen: Uh oh.

Deacy: Oh no.

Better Drummer Than You: oh yes.


	4. Lost In A Shopping Mall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fred runs into a candy store and the clerk is hot. roger likes build-a-bear.

Killer Queen: I'm going to a candy store I saw.

Deacy: Fred don't run off.

Better Drummer Than You: run off

Deacy: No.

Mayn Man: I'll find him.

Deacy: Roger, where are you?

Better Drummer Than You: nowhere

Deacy: Roger I just saw you in build-a-bear.

Better Drummer Than You: NO YOU DIDN'T

Mayn Man: Guys I can't find Freddie.

Deacy: Oh no.

Better Drummer Than You: the hoe actually did it

Killer Queen: The clerk is hot.

Deacy: Fred stay where you are.

Better Drummer Than You: he's a grown man let him do what he wants

Mayn Man: Freddie is impulsive, and frankly I'd be more worried about Roger and Fred together than separate.

Better Drummer Than You: i'm gonna find fred

Mayn Man: NO.

Better Drummer Than You: yes

Killer Queen: Guess who got a guy's number in under 20 minutes?

Deacy: Fred come to the food court.

Killer Queen added Jim to the chat.

Jim changed their nickname to Candy Store Boy.

Candy Store Boy: Hello all.

Better Drummer Than You: i see you and candy-boy i'm coming.

Deacy: ROGER NO.

Deacy: Also, hello... Jim?

Candy Store Boy: Yup. Hello.

Killer Queen: Jim, this is John. We call him "Deacy."

Candy Store Boy: Ah.

Killer Queen: Aaaaand Jim's now met Roger.

Mayn Man: I see you three.

Killer Queen: Crap run.

Mayn Man: You may run but you may not hide.

Candy Store Boy: I'm still here.... sadly.

Better Drummer Than You: we'll be back

Deacy: I can see them in the food court. They're getting fried rice.

Deacy: Oh, now they're taking it into the men's bathroom.

Deacy: Nothing good can come of this.


	5. Yellow Petunias & Lawn Chairs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some gay shit happens. actually, a lot of gay shit happens.

Better Drummer Than You: good morning losers

Mayn Man: Look who's up early.

Better Drummer Than You: where are you

Mayn Man: In the garden, looking at the yellow petunias.

Better Drummer Than You: do you want some tea because i'm making some english breakfast

Mayn Man: Yes, please.

Deacy: Oh wow I've been up for a while but I forgot to take my phone off silent.

Mayn Man: What have you been doing?

Deacy: Stuff.

Better Drummer Than You: john do you want some tea?

Deacy: No thank you.

Better Drummer Than You: okay

Better Drummer Than You: i'm bringing it out now.

Better Drummer Than You: did you drag the lawn chair all the way out there?

Mayn Man: Yes.

Better Drummer Than You: i'm dragging the other one out there.

Mayn Man: Okay.

Deacy: Oh, it's not raining, I'm assuming?

Mayn Man: Surprising for a Sunday in the UK.

Mayn Man: Oh that sounds like a good title for something.

Better Drummer Than You: band name?

Deacy: Nah, more like song name or album name.

Mayn Man: Yeah.

Mayn Man: I'm assuming Jim and Freddie aren't awake yet.

Mayn Man: Or are doing... things.

Candy Store Boy: I'm awake, I've got to get to the mall soon.

Candy Store Boy: Fred's still asleep.

Candy Store Boy uploaded my_love.png

Deacy: Awww. It's titled "my_love"

Mayn Man: Roger fell asleep on my shoulder so I slapped him.

Better Drummer Than You: SHUT UP MY FACE HURTS YOU ASSHOLE.

Deacy: Double "awww."

Mayn Man: Deacy, come join us, you can take the other lawn chair.

Mayn Man: Me and Roger are sharing.

Deacy: Okay.

Killer Queen: Where the shit is Jim?

Deacy: He had to go to work.

Killer Queen: Work? We're fabulously wealthy, what does he need work for?

Deacy: Fred, I think he enjoys his job.

Killer Queen: Makes sense.

Killer Queen: Are you guys in the garden?

Mayn Man: Yes.

Better Drummer Than You: yes.

Deacy: Yes.

Killer Queen: Does anyone want some tea?

Deacy: I changed my mind, yes. I would like some tea.

Killer Queen: Alright, dear.

Better Drummer Than You: FUCK YOU BRIAN.

Mayn Man: Stop falling asleep on me you asshole.

Deacy: I'm laughing so goddamn hard right now.

Mayn Man: Deac, you're literally just sitting there, smiling.

Deacy: Yeah that's my idea of laughing.

Mayn Man: Bad idea.

Killer Queen: I'm going to move towards where all the high-pitched Roger screaming is.

Deacy: You found us.


	6. Christmas Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thanks for 100 kudos & over a 1000 hits! i figured i'd write a chapter for christmas eve AND christmas and post them on their respective days. soo... in this chapter, it's christmas eve. freddie and roger REALLY FUCKING LIKE SNOW

Deacy: I think it's snowing outside.

Better Drummer Than You: WHAT

Killer Queen: WHAT?!

Mayn Man: Deac, do you want to supervise them first or should I supervise them?

Deacy: I'd rather you supervise them.

Mayn Man: Alright. Roger, Fred, please wear good clothing.

Mayn Man: DO NOT GO OUTSIDE BARE FUCKING NAKED.

Mayn Man: Oh my God.

Deacy: Roger, no.

Deacy: I'm going to count to three.

Deacy: One.

Deacy: Two.

Mayn Man: He came back.

Killer Queen: Is this okay, Brian?

Mayn Man: Yes.

Better Drummer Than You: FINE.

Mayn Man: There you go, that's good attire.

Better Drummer Than You: me and fred live out here now.

Mayn Man: It's "Fred and I," and you can't live outside.

Mayn Man: You'll miss cookies and me too much.

Better Drummer Than You: just watch me hoe

Deacy: One.

Deacy: Two.

Better Drummer Than You: five more minutes in the snow?

Mayn Man: Fine.

Deacy: Fine.

Deacy: I'm gonna bake some chocolate chip biscuits.

Killer Queen: I'm going back inside.

Deacy: You can't eat the dough.

Better Drummer Than You: traitor.

Mayn Man: Roger, your five minutes is up.

Better Drummer Than You: awwwwwwwwww

Mayn Man: No complaining. You'll get to have biscuits here soon.

Better Drummer Than You: fine..

Killer Queen: I'm excited for Christmas.

Mayn Man: Me too.

Candy Store Boy: I'm just now getting off work. Should be home in about a half an hour.

Killer Queen: Good. You owe me a snuggle by the fire.

Mayn Man: Oh, I should build one, shouldn't I?

Killer Queen: You are required to.

Better Drummer Than You: all i've ever wanted was to lay by a fire on the sheepskin rug and snuggle into someone.

Mayn Man: Rog, do you want to help me build the fire?

Better Drummer Than You: YES.

Mayn Man: Okay.

Deacy: Just put the cookies in.

Deacy: They should be done in about 10 minutes.

Better Drummer Than You: yay!

Deacy: A 'thank you' would've been preferable, but okay.

Mayn Man: Thank you, John.

Killer Queen: Thanks.

Better Drummer Than You: ty.


	7. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> john has a soft spot for christmas also i added a tag fellas

Deacy: Wake up everyone!!!!

Mayn Man: I'm already up.

Better Drummer Than You: you woke me up you fucker

Killer Queen: I'm awake but I was sort of laying in bed.

Candy Store Boy: I'm up, making tea.

Killer Queen: Jim, dear, can you make me a cup?

Candy Store Boy: Of course, my prince ♥

Killer Queen: JIIIIM.

Deacy: Awwww.

Mayn Man: How sweet.

Candy Store Boy: Freddie, get dressed dear, it's almost ready.

Better Drummer Than You: i'm tiiiireedddddd.

Deacy: Roger it's Christmas.

Deacy: Did you forget?

Better Drummer Than You: WHAT

Mayn Man: Roger don't run-

Mayn Man: ROGER ARE YOU OKAY

Mayn Man: He slipped. He was wearing nothing but a long sweater and socks and he fucking slipped. He's just lying on the ground laughing that dumb but kind of cute laugh he always does. Fucking idiot.

Killer Queen: "KIND OF CUTE"

Killer Queen: Brian.

Candy Store Boy: As a gay man myself, Brian, I must say, that's some gay shit right there.

Better Drummer Than You: BRIAN

Mayn Man left the chat.

Better Drummer Than You added Brian to the chat.

Deacy: Explain yourself, Brian.

Brian changed their nickname to Mayn Man.

Mayn Man: No.

Deacy: Does everyone want to open their presents?

Deacy: I do.

Deacy: I'm going to open them.

Better Drummer Than You: wait wait i want to see your reaction to mine!!!

Deacy: Okay, okay.

Mayn Man: On my way down there.


	8. Supermarket Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> roger and brian go shopping

Mayn Man: Holy shit Roger can fit in the child seat thing on the grocery cart.

Deacy: Send pics.

Mayn Man uploaded dumbass.png.

Mayn Man: I wasn't fucking around.

Deacy: Holy shit.

Deacy: Well that's a manageable way to keep Roger in one spot.

Better Drummer Than You: i fucking hate all of you, individually, in your own special ways.

Killer Queen: Roger, dear...

Better Drummer Than You: fuck you

Better Drummer Than You: don't fucking say it

Killer Queen: manlet

Better Drummer Than You removed Killer Queen from the chat.

Deacy added Freddie to the chat.

Freddie changed their name to Killer Queen.

Killer Queen: Sorry, Roger.

Mayn Man: I took his phone away from him so now he's pouting.

Killer Queen: Last time I did that he pulled my mustache so hard it nearly tore. So I'd be careful with him around that mane of yours, Brian.

Deacy: Now that I think about it how did Bri even put Roger in the cart?

Deacy: Did Roger put himself in the cart?

Deacy: Did Brian lift him into the cart?

Deacy: Questions that should be answered.

Mayn Man: I lifted him into the cart when he complained too much about how his feet hurt.

Mayn Man: Should I give him is phone back? He's giving me that psychotic look.

Killer Queen: Darling, give him his phone.

Better Drummer Than You: fucker

Deacy: Ah, there's Roger back with his phone.

Better Drummer Than You: brian you're not just a piece of shit your am an entire shit.

Killer Queen: Roger, dear, be nice.

Better Drummer Than You: NO.

Mayn Man: We're on our last three items. We'll be home soon.

Deacy: Oh, Brian, honey, we need toilet paper.

Mayn Man: Okay.

Better Drummer Than You: one advantage to being this high up in a cart is i am taller now than brian

Mayn Man: Ironically, only by 2 inches.

Deacy: That last message can be applied to sexual situations.

Mayn Man: Stop.

Better Drummer Than You: never again.

Mayn Man: Alright, Roger, we're done. You're coming out of the cart unless you want to stay in until we get to the car?

Better Drummer Than You: .... leave me in

Deacy: I'M LAUGHING SO GODDAMN HARD.

Killer Queen: John you're sitting on the couch and I'm right across from you. You are not laughing. You are smiling.

Better Drummer Than You: don't call john out like this

Better Drummer Than You: don't do him dirty


	9. Makeout Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this was some very gay shit if i do say so myself also this happened to me and i was john

Deacy: Holy fuck.

Deacy: Freddie help.

Deacy: Oh my God.

Deacy uploaded they're_making_out.mov

Killer Queen: What is i

Killer Queen: HAAHAHHAAHHAHAA

Deacy: IT'S NOT FUNNY I'M TRYING TO SLEEP AND THEY WON'T SHUT UP.

Candy Store Boy: Why don't you just tell them to stop?

Deacy: I DON'T WANT TO BE RUDE!

Deacy: Roger and Brian are fucking making out.

Deacy: I have proof.

Deacy: I don't know if this is the best thing (because I can bully them about it,) or if it's the worst thing (because they're doing it right in front of me.)

Killer Queen: Best thing.

Deacy: FOR YOU IT IS.

Deacy: Uh oh. Roger's climbing on top.

Deacy: Funny thing is Rog is way too short and way to submissive to be a top.

Killer Queen: Deacy, how do you know that Roger is too submissive to be a top?

Deacy: Shut your pancake-batter-with-pink-glitter-covered face up.

Candy Store Boy: Oddly specific insult, but okay.

Deacy: THEY'RE GRINDING.

Deacy: I'm just gonna throw my phone at Roger's head and yell at them to shut the fuck up.

Deacy: mscasj

Killer Queen: Jim, to give you an idea of what I just heard:

Killer Queen: Smack, "SHUT THE FUCK UP," high-pitched Roger scream, mixed yelling, then footsteps running into my room, and now John's hiding under my bed.

Deacy: i have his phone

Deacy: I HAVE HIS PHONE

Deacy: THE DUMB FUCK LEFT IT UNLOCKED

Deacy: I'm gonna strangle you, John.

Killer Queen: I will protect him with all my might.

Killer Queen: However, I am not that mighty.

Killer Queen: So I'll kindly ask you to destroy someone else's room while you fight each other.

Candy Store Boy: You're all like children.

Candy Store Boy: Well, John's usually the fucker who breaks up the fights.

Candy Store Boy: Not this time.

Killer Queen: I know, dear.

Deacy: where is he

Deacy: you better come out here before i suck your goddamn dick


	10. Drinking Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's short i kind of ran out of ideas please comment below ideas also follow my tumblr: jamiethewallflower

Mayn Man: Roger where did you go.

Better Drummer Than You: im getting a drink

Mayn Man: Rog do not get drunk tonight

Better Drummer Than You: two shots of vodka

Better Drummer Than You sent glug_glug_glug_glug_glug.mov

Mayn Man: NO.

Mayn Man: I'm coming down there.

Better Drummer Than You sent brian_my_love.png

Better Drummer Than You: FUCK WRONG PHOTO.

Deacy: What are you two doing.

Deacy: AWWWWW! ROGER YOU GIVE BRIAN KISSES ON THE CHEEK?

Deacy: Saved.

Mayn Man: I have bigger things to deal with.

Deacy: Why do I hear running towards my room?

Better Drummer Than You: IVE GIOT A CROSS AND A HAMMER AND NAILS AND I" MGOING TO CRUCIFYG YOU

Deacy: Oh, I'm sooooooooo scared.

Killer Queen: Darlings, what are you doing awake?

Deacy: Fred go back to sleep it's fine.

Killer Queen: Why is John being crucified?

Mayn Man: Rog, you left your drink down here, and I'm going to either drink it, spit in it, or pour it down the drain and I haven't decided.

Killer Queen: BRIAN COME HERE.

Mayn Man: Okay, one moment.

Mayn Man: Well, I need a drink now.

Mayn Man: Rog, want to get drunk?

Better Drummer Than You: you know i do, dear.

Mayn Man: Alright well come here.

Killer Queen: I'm gonna wake up Jim we can all drink together.

Deacy: I'm alright with this.

Candy Store Boy: I'm already up you guys woke me.

Deacy: Sorry, Jim.

Killer Queen: Sorry, love.

Mayn Man: Sorry.


	11. Lift Trapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> based on the lift incident but the timeline in this fic is already fucked soooo i do what i want also hc that roger is deathly afraid of getting stuck in lifts

Killer Queen: JIM HELP

Candy Store Boy: What's the matter my dear?!

Killer Queen: I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO JUMP UP AND DOWN IN THE LIFT AND THE SEISMIC THING ACTIVATED AND NOW ROGER'S CRYING AND I'M ABOUT TO CRY AND I FEEL LIKE I'M DEAD.

Mayn Man: You got to be shitting me.

Mayn Man: You got yourselves _stuck_?

Deacy: _AGAIN?_

Candy Store Boy: Fred, shhh. Press the fire hat button or the call button or whatever's in there.

Deacy: I'm sorry I shouldn't be laughing. I know Roger's deathly afraid of this.

Mayn Man: Get Rog on his phone I've got to calm him down.

Better Drummer Than You: BRIAN I'M SCARED

Mayn Man: I know, dear, I know. Which lift are you on?

Better Drummer Than You: the one near the food court

Better Drummer Than You: please hurry.

Deacy: Did you get in contact with 999?

Killer Queen: Yeah, they're on their way.

Killer Queen: What do I do Roger's crying.

Mayn Man: Tell him to pretend that I'm you and let him hug you.

Killer Queen: ..Okay?

Better Drummer Than You: im really fuckign scarec bri

Mayn Man: I'm standing outside the lift, the firemen are here.

Candy Store Boy: I'll try and get out of work to go over there.

Deacy: I'll go over there.

Mayn Man: They're working, darling, they're working on it.

Killer Queen: Well this was a day.

Killer Queen: Roger hugged me. Very tightly.

Killer Queen: I got stuck in a lift.

Killer Queen: Again.

Killer Queen: And I'm going to make my lovely boyfriend buy me lunch.

Candy Store Boy: Whatever you want, my dear.

Mayn Man: Here they come.


	12. Please & Thank You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thank you for 2k hits!  
> i'll probably be putting out an actual fanfiction, and not just this, because i'm a bit dissatisfied with my writing. like, is this all i can do? just sit here and make *this?*  
> it'll probably be on a high school au. which, i understand has been done many times, but let me live. it'll probably have two works, one with maylor as the focus, and the second as just general stuff.  
> but anyway, here's your new chapter. brian is everyone's mum

Better Drummer Than You: brian come here

Mayn Man: Dear, I'm a bit busy right now.

Mayn Man: Maybe if you said "please" I'd think about it a bit more.

Better Drummer Than You: you aren't my mum.

Mayn Man: Yes, but it's important.

Better Drummer Than You: fine. please, can you come here.

Better Drummer Than You: i wanna show you something.

Mayn Man: Good boy.

Killer Queen: Darling did you just say "good boy?"

Killer Queen: That's.... quite..

Deacy: Sketchy?

Killer Queen: Yeah. We'll just say sketchy.

Mayn Man: Rog that's such a good beat!

Better Drummer Than You: SHUT UP

Mayn Man: Do not talk to me like that. Say sorry.

Better Drummer Than You: nevER especially since you took a video of me playing!

Mayn Man uploaded talented_beauty.mov

Deacy: I love how it's called "talented_beauty."

Killer Queen: 'S not a bad beat.

Better Drummer Than You: SHUT UP ALL OF YOU

Better Drummer Than You: It"S NOT GOOD!

Mayn Man: You're doing fine, love.

Killer Queen: Any lyrics?

Better Drummer Than You: um i just know i want it to be something. i don't know what.

Mayn Man: Band meeting. Now. This is the start of a good ass song.

Killer Queen: You don't get to call them.

Deacy: Tone it down.

Mayn Man: Doesn't matter, we're all four equal members, we can all call meetings.

Killer Queen: I've never seen John call one.

Mayn Man: John, you have the authority to call meetings, now.

Killer Queen: What do you mean "now?" Deacy, you've always had the power to call them.

Deacy: I know. Now stop arguing, we've got a song to write.

Killer Queen: Alright, fine, whatever.

Mayn Man: Don't give me attitude.

Killer Queen: Roger's right, you're just everyone's mum around here!

Mayn Man: I'm just saying we shouldn't disrespect each other.

Killer Queen: Saying "alright, fine, whatever" isn't showing disrespect, it's saying I agree and we should move on!

Mayn Man: Fine! Let's move on! Great!

Killer Queen: Thank you for agreeing with me! Great! Love that!

Deacy: That's enough.

Better Drummer Than You: can you guys just come here so we can actually record the song.

Better Drummer Than You: god, i have the worst hangover.

Better Drummer Than You: oh! that can be in the song!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm wondering if y'all figured out the song rog was writing. if you didn't it was Coming Soon. idk why but i just love it.


	13. The Cat Café

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh my god i can't believe i've made 13 chapters of this bullshit.  
> anyway, bam. https://archiveofourown.org/works/17446763/chapters/41080058. i made the high school fic.  
> basically, in this chapter, freddie and jim are being cute in a cat cafe and roger is being a bitch

Killer Queen: I've found my ABSOLUTE NIRVANA.

Deacy: Where are you?

Candy Store Boy: I took him to a cat café.

Better Drummer Than You: dogs are better

Killer Queen: No!! Oh my God!! I love everyone who's a cat here!! and Jim! I love you!! Oh my God!!!

Candy Store Boy uploaded he_loves_all_of_them.mov

Deacy: Shh, Roger, let him live.

Candy Store Boy: Oh man you guys should've come. He cannot contain himself.

Killer Queen: oH my Go1D! I'M shAKING IM JUST SO HAPPY!!!!!!

Mayn Man: Send me the address I'll make my way over there, I'm just wrapping up at the market.

Better Drummer Than You: i want to take a nap

Mayn Man: Rog, you're literally sitting in the car because you didn't want to be put in the child's seat in the cart again. Just take a nap.

Better Drummer Than You: FINE, BRI, YOU DOn'T HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO

Mayn Man: You're going on top of the fridge when you get home.

Better Drummer Than You: thIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMAREEEEE

Deacy: So, Jim, give us an update.

Candy Store Boy: I ordered some tea and sat down and he's still playing with the cats. The sad thing is, there's children in here less excited than he is.

Deacy: Aww.

Deacy: Send cat pics please.

Candy Store Boy: Okay.

Candy Store Boy uploaded 4 images.

Mayn Man: I love how all of them have Freddie somewhere in the background.

Deacy: Not going to lie, but those are pretty cute cats.

Killer Queen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN PRETTY CUTE THEY ARE _GODS AND GODESSES_.

Mayn Man: Alright, we're on our way.

Deacy: Uh yeah I'll just be at home. Not sinning.

Mayn Man: What.

Better Drummer Than You: what.

Deacy: Nothing.

Mayn Man: Rog's being a bitch.

Better Drummer Than You: you're just mad because i'm wearing cooler shades than you. and i won't put up my seat.

Mayn Man: Yes, the second reason is exactly why I'm mad.

Mayn Man: Okay, well, not mad, but irritated.


End file.
